As we begin the season of Christmas preparations, I thought I'd share this article I wrote several years ago.
I could see my son’s mouth moving, but couldn’t understand any of the words coming from it. “Go Play!” My voice was raised to be heard over the sound of the electric mixer. When he proudly held up his latest Lego creation, I nodded. “That’s nice, Honey. Now get those Legos out of the kitchen, please!” I returned my attention to the task at hand as he walked slowly from the kitchen.
Finally judging the mixture to be ready, I turned off the mixer and took a spoonful of the divinity and expectantly placed it on the wax paper spread out on the counter. Instantly, the soft mound flattened into a little pool of white goo. Frowning, I resumed beating the mixture. Several minutes and little pools of goo later, I was forced to admit that I had been defeated by a bowl of egg whites, sugar, and corn syrup.
Every Christmas since I first learned to cook, I have made divinity. Others have complained that it is temperamental and difficult to make, but I have never had any problem with it – until this year. It has been something that I have found satisfaction and taken pride in. If it had been the fudge that had failed, I wouldn’t have been surprised. Never have I had a batch of fudge turn out right. Depending on the year, you need either a hammer or a spoon to eat it. But to go without the divinity – it was unheard of.
Deciding that I would do better when I was less frustrated, I turned my attention to the cookies that I needed to bake in preparation for the guests who would be coming for Christmas dinner the next day. Hours later, I tiredly wiped the flour from my hands and looked around the kitchen. Wanting to be sure I had a sufficient variety of cookies to satisfy every possible preference, I had baked dozens of cookies. There was also a beautifully successful batch of fudge in the refrigerator. (It’s amazing what a decade of practice can accomplish!)
I looked at the clock. It was almost time to leave if I was going to go to the candlelight Christmas Eve service at church. I still had pies to bake for Christmas dinner and a kitchen floor to mop, not to mention the divinity that I still needed to make! It looked like I would just have to miss the service.
Guiltily, I realized what that solution said about my priorities in life. I needed to go to the church service, but I couldn’t do everything. I could bake the pies after coming home from church, and the floor could be mopped while the pies were baking. Regretfully, I realized that if I wanted to get any sleep at all, I would have to abandon the idea of the divinity. It seemed strange that I would feel as much disappointment as I did, but it just didn’t feel like Christmas without the divinity.
As it turned out, going to the candlelight service was the best thing I’d done all day. I had been so caught up in preparations that week that I had lost sight of everything that was truly important. God, however, had a message for me that would change my focus.
The Almighty, Holy, Most Powerful God had looked across time and space and seen this crazy mixed-up world that we live in. He had seen the wars, the poverty, the injustice, the violence, the immorality. He saw kings, presidents, and the poorest of men. He saw me, irritable moods, dirty floors, failed divinity, and all. Yet, He did not feel revulsion as one might expect, but rather, He felt an awesome compassion and love. He didn’t wait for people to clean up their lives (or floors!), but “while we were yet sinners”, Christ was born as a human baby with the purpose of suffering and dying for us – dirty, messed-up lives and all.
Now, during a time when we celebrate this wonderful Gift of Love that God has given us, I had been running this way and that, ignoring my family, preparing food, gifts and more. Where was Jesus in my Christmas? He was there on the fireplace mantle, lying in the manger of my nativity scene. That was the only room there was for Him in my busy schedule. We shake our heads at the lack of room at the inn for our Lord and Savior to be born, but has anything really changed? All too often, He is still relegated to the stable.
It was a different person who arrived home that night than the harried, over-tired woman who had left just an hour before. I went to each family member and apologized for the crazy way I had been acting. I finished what needed to be done, and went to bed, my head full of plans for ways in which I could make room for Jesus in my Christmas.
It is now late on Christmas Day as I sit here writing. The guests have gone home, the family is in bed, and I am curled up against one of my Christmas presents – a massaging cushion (wishing it was a foot massager after all those hours standing in the kitchen!). There are toys scattered about the living room as evidence of a fun-filled Christmas. There are mounds of leftover cookies and fudge still covering the kitchen counters. What strikes me the most, however, is the sense of peace and thanksgiving that I feel inside. My Christmas was one full of Divinity after all.
© 1999, 2006 Jessica Wilkinson
